Every neurodiverse person has a unique experience of life – both the world around them and their internal world. Never before, as an autistic and ADHD woman, have I felt as seen and understood as I did reading this book. I certainly can’t speak for anyone else’s experience, but reading this in high school would have made my world make so much more sense.
Real When I’m With You is all about pretending. Effie pretends she enjoys being third wheel to her longtime best friend Chelsea’s love stories and supporting her each time they fall apart. When Effie meets Aiden, she pretends to ask him on a date to prove a point to Chelsea and her boyfriend. Aiden is the enigmatic and adorable barista – a cross between sunshine and chaos – at a local café, and he agrees to the fake date. But when they run into his ex-girlfriend at a party he panics. So Effie pretends to be Aiden’s girlfriend.
Only, when she’s alone with Aiden, Effie doesn’t have to pretend anything. Being autistic has always made her feel like she needs to hide parts of herself to fit in, but Aiden and his friends see Effie as she really is. And they like her. But Chelsea isn’t content to let Effie happily go her own way. As Chelsea works to make sure Effie doesn’t steal the spotlight of happiness, Effie begins to think all the pretending she’s been doing with Aiden may be stirring up some real feelings.
Lucy Powrie is the British author of The Paper & Hearts Society book series, and aims to write books showing proud and positive neurodiverse characters for everyone to read and enjoy. Encouraging teens to see themselves, love themselves, and to let others in to all they are, Real When I’m With You provides a powerful self-affirming message about what is means to be neurodivergent. Offering fresh takes on peer pressure, failing friendships, teen romance, and fitting in, Powrie blends the colours of neuronormative expectations with the rainbow of neurodiverse experiences.
Yes, there is lengthy and repetitive self-talk from Effie, amping herself up and explaining her thought process, but it doesn’t feel completely out of place or overly didactic. As an AuDHD adult, I already know a lot of what is said, but as an undiagnosed teen seeing those words and feeling their truth take shape in Effie’s character would have been life-altering. Although there is romance, it’s all very gentle and suitable for a younger YA audience, with the only content warning for younger readers that the emotional bullying is quite specific and detailed at times.
This is a great summer read, all about what one summer can truly mean.
